black dot

Not once, my old man used to say, „Son, the most dangerous thing to your life is life itself.“

It does happen in everyone’s life, that in one moment (or moments) in front of you appears a dot. You know, that small, black at the end of sentence (full stop called in English). Small and black at the end of the sentence, but in life huge like a wall. Than panic starts to grip our mind… Wall is smooth and high, wall is on your left and on your right and there is no way you can jump over it.

If „appearances“ of that black dot can be categories in group „from time to time“, that is not that bad. But if they are in category „every other moment“, that is very serious and goes under diagnosis : depression.

Thanks God, am still in the first category.For how long is hard to say 🙂

But I can tell you, it’s not easy. When that happens, nothing you do ends up right. You are stumbling at every step, actually and figuratively.  Nothing works.

And then all people around you, especially your closest ones, have their own problems (which for them are the most important which is natural and understandable ), and you just do not have anybody else who can help you but yours humble you.Small, not important to anyone else but you, yours one and only humble you 🙂

But, do not despair… You must know that you and your humble you make one very well-trained and capable team. Almost like a part of special forces unit to combat life’s black dots-walls situations.And that’s what I do: I and humble me, we move to „fight“ together … And you know that old saying : „Together, we are stronger“ 🙂

In the meantime, situation with your dot-wall grows to be heavy and very complicated. You know very well that you must find exit ASAP, because you just notice that there is a wall behind you which is slowly sliding towards you. And if continue just stand and keep staring at the wall in front of you, that wall which is creeping towards you will flatten you and this is end of the story…Yours 😦

What I’m doing then? I’m forcing my brain (and we all know that our brain can be our best friend or worst enemy) to shift to the highest speed and start to „google“ itself looking for exit and passage over that „wall“ in front of me, trying to locate solution from my previous encounters with black dot-wall.

At first, because of high level of panic, what ever I think of and try to do to get out of this mess, simple doesn’t work. But, I refuse to give up.

I don’t give up, because I love that feeling of the first breath of air when I wake up, which confirms that I’m alive. I love the smell of coffee, taste of first cigarette. I love my family. A most of all , I love myself. And how much I love life as such, you don’t have a clue 🙂Should I let all this to disappear without a trace because of this black dot-wall?

No way Jose. I Won’t let this to happen.

It is strange, and I couldn’t understand why, how come every time when this happens, I don’t recall „exit plan“ which always works. Must be because of the panic level which is enormous.

First, I remember that my dad always insisted that everything in our life is a struggle, and we must fight…And most important : we should never give up.

Fight is what our life requests from us. Normally, some battles we lose some battles we win, but the war with life we will certainly lose if we give up and surrender.

Another thing which helps me a lot, is (I think) old Chinese proverb : „Not every wall is made from the stone“.

Then, I simple make step forward trough that black dot – wall and things slowly start moving back to normal (what ever normal means in my life). Now I can breathe, I can clearly think.I can find solution.

But the biggest satisfaction is, that you manage to live that black dot – wall behind you forever.

Never give up.

live long and prosper

ja